Elana Bergovoy was trying in to help her daughter find a husband. An Orthodox Jew who grew up Reform, she had never experienced shidduch, the Orthodox matchmaking process, herself. This experience would lead to her becoming president of the Shidduch Group Network, an organization that helps observant Jews find marriage partners. Get Jewish Exponent’s Newsletter by email and never miss our top stories We do not share data with third party vendors. Free Sign Up. After a year-and-a-half of searching, Bergovoy approached her mentor for advice.
Shidduch Expert Finds Love in Philadelphia
Inspired by millennia of tradition and guided by the eternal teachings of the Torah , Jewish communities have developed a unique pattern of courtship and dating. The process is goal-oriented, beautiful and respectful. Read more. I am 69, but look like I am in my late 30s due to Organic living. I’m new here Anyone suggest jewish matchmakers? What is the minimum age for a girl??
New Facebook groups have emerged to facilitate Jewish dating While Orthodox Jews who use matchmakers have seen their process go.
Illustrations: Yosef Itzkowitz. Yosef Itzkowitz is an artist, author and poet. His published work can be found on Amazon, under the name Yosef Paper. He is currently studying illustration at the School of Visual Arts in New York City and can be reached at yosefitzkowitz gmail. Molly is Ashkenazi; Joey is Sephardic. Three years ago, she was living in St. Louis and he was in Los Angeles. Though Molly and Joey are Orthodox and in their thirties, they had not even one mutual Facebook friend. This despite the fact that Molly has 2, Facebook friends!
In recent years, the Internet and smartphones have changed how people do virtually everything in recent years, from Torah learning to grocery shopping.
Converting to Orthodox Judaism Is a Lot. Here’s How 3 Women Did It.
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In the middle of a blizzard on the Upper East Side, Chaviva Gordon-Bennett dipped her feet into a ritual bath located in the basement of a building adjacent to her synagogue. A female attendant watched as she descended into the heated water, her terry cloth robe still tied around her waist. Three rabbis stood off to the side of the room, their backs to Gordon-Bennett as she dunked her head under water.
The rabbis took this as their cue to leave. Gordon-Bennett disrobed, handed the soaked garment to the attendant, and dunked twice more. Gordon-Bennett was officially an Orthodox Jew. The ritual bath—known as a mikvah—marked the culmination of her religious conversion. By senior year, Gordon-Bennett had converted to Reform Judaism. Dressed and dried after the mikvah, Gordon-Bennett met the Rabbis in the waiting room, still reeling from the gravity of what had just transpired.
The Rabbis handed her a piece of candy—a reward and another test. Before eating it, she would need to say the specific blessing for candy, in Hebrew.
The Unorthodox Matchmaker
During March —May , an outbreak of 4, measles cases occurred in Israel, following international importations, mainly from Ukraine. Approximately one half of the cases 2, occurred in residents of Jerusalem District, primarily in unvaccinated children in orthodox Jewish communities. Children in those orthodox communities have lower rates of routine vaccination coverage; for measles vaccine, first dose coverge is
Marriage and Relationship Education and the Orthodox Jewish Community. Jewish of dating and engagement, the couple is usually the process of the get.
For many Orthodox converts going through the conversion process, the mikveh is the light at the end of a long tunnel. What this means in practice is that men and, more often, women the majority of converts are female wait months and sometimes years to enter the dating world as halachic Jews. When the process is finally complete, many converts describe feeling more anxious than excited about the prospect of dating. Everyone has heard and many have experienced their fair share of dating horror stories.
But there is more to it — and seemingly more at stake — for converts. The Jewish community has long struggled with accepting and successfully absorbing newcomers, but one segment of the community appears to be failing more acutely, and more consequentially: the matchmakers. Over the years, I have spoken with dozens of converts, and almost all described the distinct feeling of being a second-class citizen in the dating world. Many attributed their difficulties to complicating factors that would make dating difficult for anyone, Orthodox or not.
Women were told to lose weight; single mothers and divorcees were told they were less marriageable. It was very discouraging. They were also hard to get it touch with and never followed up.
Do Orthodox Jews Have Arranged Marriages?
We hear a lot about the shidduch crisis and who is and is not responsible. Are the so-called marriage mentors, dating mentors and, yes, even some rabbis part of the solution or part of the problem? The shidduch crisis that has in recent years caused a panic throughout the more Orthodox and ultra-Orthodox Jewish enclaves in New York, New Jersey and other states stems from two factors: the rapid growth of the ultra-Orthodox community and the marriage-age differential between men and women in these communities.
Read the rules of the Jewish dating game. The Shidduch: How Jews Date. The process whereby a man and woman meet, become acquainted with each with the congregtion at shul (Orthodox synagogue)– it is a mitzvah (we Jews are.
Of all the mysterious statements in the Talmud, one of the best known says that finding a true partner in life is as difficult as parting the Red Sea. In the world of Orthodox Judaism, where family is second to God alone, people are always working to part the seas so men and women can get married, fulfill the commandment to multiply and ensure the faith for another generation. As the father of a recent bride put it: “Matchmaking is the favorite indoor sport of Jews.
Whether they are professionals using computers, a yeshiva rabbi intimate with all the qualities and quirks of his students, or Aunt Malkie who just happens to know a nice boy from a good family, somebody is always trying to fix people up. Certain Hasidic families in the United States still choose mates for their sons and daughters as they did in 18th-century Poland. Before Orthodox Jews get to the wedding canopy, they must navigate a dating process governed by religious laws and customs that most of society would find unthinkable, beginning with informal but detailed checks of family, character and health.
One young man just starting to date has kept a recent surgery secret so as not to hurt his chances of finding a wife. The way the Orthodox see it, the average American does more homework deciding to buy a car than choosing a spouse. The Orthodox divorce rate, estimated at about 5 percent, suggests they do their homework well. Dating prohibitions include touching, which is said to hamper the work of picking a mate since physical contact intoxicates the senses.
Time spent completely alone is forbidden, since it might set the stage for touching, and outings just for fun are frowned upon. Such boundaries lead to a lot of evenings sipping soda in the lobbies of big hotels while trying to fathom another person’s dreams and visions.
Attachment style and prolonged singlehood in the ultra-Orthodox community in Israel
Yocheved Lerner-Miller pairs up misfits — the divorced, the middle-aged, the newly religious — in the Lubavitch Jewish community in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. Andre D. Wagner for The New York Times.
Before Orthodox Jews get to the wedding canopy, they must navigate a dating process governed by religious laws and customs that most of.
A week and a half ago, Josephine Stockwell had her first date with Nathan, a guy she had been texting for some time. The two really hit it off. They both speak Spanish, love romantic comedies and relate to Judaism in similar ways. They wound up talking for two and a half hours. As social distancing has become the norm during the pandemic, meeting a stranger for dinner and drinks seems like a distant memory. While Orthodox Jews who use matchmakers have seen their process go digital for the first time, other Jews who might be more accustomed to online dating have seen pandemic-specific platforms — one is even called CoronaCrush — emerge to match the unusual circumstances.
Stockwell met her beau through MeetJew University Dating , a Facebook group that popped up as colleges began sending students home due to the pandemic and now has more than 38, members.
In Orthodox Dating Scene, Matchmakers Go Digital
Brooke, 30, an Orthodox woman divorced for six years, wants a meaningful relationship that will lead to marriage, but that is proving to be a challenge. Some even create fake profiles. In , being Orthodox no longer offers the security of ongoing community support, and for single millennials, finding a partner is a solitary pursuit.
can be a difficult process for many men and women. In recent years, it has been observed that a growing number of individuals in the Modern Orthodox Jewish.
Recognizing a pressing need to assist members of the Chicago Orthodox Jewish community in the shidduch process, HaRav Shmuel Fuerst, Dayan Agudath Israel of Illinois, established Simcha Link in to help orthodox Jewish men and woman of all ages find their soulmates. Our full staff of dedicated shadchanim take pride in making themselves available to meet with single men and women throughout the day. There are few sights more heartwarming than a Jewish man and woman standing together under their chupah, ready to embark on the sacred journey of marriage.
We believe nothing can replace working closely with a caring and discreet shadchan who has your best interests at heart. Time and time again, we see that a shidduch can come from anywhere and anyone. Our presence around the country has allowed us to expand our reach and formulate more potential matches.
Over 50 and Looking for Love Online
While the dating approach in most segments of the frum community is intended to ensure a thorough assessment of suitability between two people, there are important areas of compatibility which tend to be overlooked. Multiple levels of checking are completed before the couple even meets. Often, however, there are significant flaws in how the dating process is handled, and frequently-critical considerations get simply left out of the equation.
Couples and their families frequently fail to explore both the emotional compatibility of the couple, as well as whether each of them has developed the qualities necessary to create and maintain a healthy marriage. That is not to suggest that other areas of focus are not also important. There is also a lot of discussion of familial compatibility, which typically includes religious styles, culture, parental roles and relations with siblings and extended family.
Orthodox Jewish dating isn’t like secular dating. In the Orthodox Some Orthodox Jews still send a chaperone along on the date. And sex is off the table until U.S. Announces Process to Re-Impose U.N. Sanctions on Iran.
Sara hung up the phone in April, sobbing. Her family court date to resolve child custody had been canceled, with no new date in sight, as a result of in-person restrictions during the pandemic. Like many separated parents, she was already struggling. Not just with the closure of civil courts, but as an educational supervisor whose job was put on hold amid the collapsing economy.
But unlike most people trying to leave unhappy marriages, Sara faces an additional obstacle: As an Orthodox Jew, she cannot receive a Jewish bill of divorce — the get — from her husband without him physically handing it over. Women say the process was taxing before the pandemic. Already, the task of receiving a get could quickly descend into abuse, experts say, as some men withhold it to exert power over former partners.
Even if a man is willing to become divorced in civil court, he may leverage the get to receive concessions on matters like property division or child support. For women like Sara, covid has created a plethora of additional obstacles dragging out the get process. Hundreds of women in the United States, thousands in Israel and more across the Jewish diaspora are estimated to be caught in this spiritual limbo.
Divorce in religious courts — which are known as beit din — is even more difficult during social distancing, considering that the ceremony, or gittin, requires the couple, two witnesses, a rabbi and a scribe to gather in person. Even if everyone complies, the affair can take months from start to finish — although many last years if a partner holds out Sara, who has been married for 16 years, filed for her get in Israel a year ago. To make things more challenging, secular courts are facing delays of their own: Family court proceedings across New York City all but halted in March, prioritizing orders of protection as essential.